My expectations of the end of the world ( IF it happens)

People say expectations hurt, well, this one of mine is sure gonna hurt, literally. January 1, 2012 was supposed to be just another new year’s day, except it wasn’t. As a kid, i was told too much about the mayan calendar and the end of the world (thank you discovery channel specials) that the start of this year had me all hyped up. In the relatively short time i had lived on this planet, I have never seen a major event worthy of being spoken for decades to come. No world wars, no nuclear bombings, no second coming of any god and not even an ice age ( death of Steve jobs doesn’t count πŸ™ ) Having watched so many movies about the end of the world has raised my expectations for 21 December, 2012. I know the end of the world is not something to made fun of but then if its gonna happen, its gonna happen and if all we can do is sit and watch, then i wanna watch something truly spectacular. Here is a small list of expectations and questions i have about this so called apocalypse.

There is this one question which i couldn’t get my mind off. Most people are pretty sure that the Mayan calendar dont have a date after 21.12, and i dont question that. But what of the time zone? if its CST, then we in India get to see the dawn of 21.12? or if its gonna happen according to the timezone and slowly move across the planet, then will we get to see it happening live in Australia and NewZeland in our news channels? (imagine the ad revenues they can get of it :O oh, yeah, they wont be alive in a few hours time, never mind) if its the latter, then by the time it reaches the far end of the planet, it would have got over in australia and we can move around the world back home and live happily ever after πŸ˜›

But how is it gonna happen? how many are gonna survive at the end of it? Will we have heroes and the important question of all, will we get to see zombies? ( oh, how much i want that to happen πŸ˜› ) even if there will be survivors, i dont know if i wanna be one, it still depends on who all survives, will be big time boring if the only survivors are a bunch of scientists locked up in a lab researching about why this happened and what did they miss!!

Expectations in the order of increasing possibility:
1. Alien invasion ( that’d be cool, we get to fight and dont have to worry about humanity if we kill some of them on a hand combat )
2. God comes and says “Let there be darkness” or something like that and we all drop dead ( no fun but at least we will get to know if there is someone up there watching everything and most people will accept this happily cuz its god’s will )
3. God is an alien who comes and switches off light ( this would solve the age old dispute between science and religion and all will die knowing they were right all along )
4. WW3 breaks out and all hell breaks loose ( there will be peace at some point of time and a lot more survivors than the above 3 situations )
5. Major floods or ice age or something where nature turns against life for abusing it ( a real possibility with the rate we are destroying nature ) (heard somewhere they are creating a vegetarian version of Noah’s ark with all the seeds ready to start a new civilisation, hope they take the nature a bit more seriously then )
6. Nothing happens, not even a global holiday and we go to work ( see? this sounds boring now πŸ˜› )

Cool things to do if you survive:
1. Throw stones at glass buildings if they are not broken yet and see the crash ( we all wanted to do that at some point )
2. Drive a car around like you are playing Grand Theft Auto or Need for Speed ( if the car is in shape, roads cant get any worse than what they are now)
3. Get back to your hobbies you wanted to do all your life if only you had a world without a busy job and Facebook.
4. There is a world out there for you to have fun and you dont have to live to impress people people or earn money. All you will have to do is survive.

Cool things to do if you dont survive:
1. umm..
2. there is this thing like..
3. there isn’t many things you can do, forget it.. live a good life before that and you wont regret it..

People i expect to go down (read dead ) in the chaos: ( i dont personally know most people in the below list and this is just a personal opinion. its not really nice to wish death upon people, but its for a bigger cause)
1. Justin Beiber (Yes please! in your list too right?)
2. A few tamil directors or movie directors in general ( if i am to survive, i deserve a better set of movies after the disaster, haven’t i had enough? )
3. Karunanidhi or in general politicians ( i leave this to the guy watching us from the sky or never mind, they will kill each other sooner anyways )
4. A lot more people without whom a world would be a better place. This is a perspective list and i will keep mine to myself.

People i expect to survive:
1. Well, its all or none. cuz everyone is important toΒ  someone in this world.

Happy 2012 everyone πŸ™‚

I’m nidhish’s complete lack of attention!

how does it feel like to be attentive all the time all day long? its been quite a while since i did that.

There are three kinds of people in this world.
1. The ones who are so into their work that they dont even get distracted by the worldly happenings.
2. The ones who do their work sincerely and on the event of distraction, they embrace it and do both the work at a time.
3. ME. I do a work properly and on account of distraction i move to that and in a few min I’m doing neither and concentrating on something totally unrelated to both like what band to listen to while going back home, or

even the pirates of somalia πŸ˜›

Was i always been this way? Well, no. I was one of those minds who could think of one thing forever, get into the minute details of it. What changed that to lack of attention? I wasn’t paying attention when tat happened! (read the title again) but there are two things i suspect that maybe the big reason behind the change.

1. Anna University (engineering in general).
2. Tamil Cinema (or Indian cinema in general, i’m one of those who doesn’t believe in the “bollywood” “kollywood” tollywood” separation..i believe its all (most of it) a part of one big pile of cow-dung, why dig through and differentiate it)

The former played a bigger role in making me lazy. I was the mind who thought of using the motion of a vehicle to charge up a battery which in turn runs the same vehicle, something in the likes of perpetual energy while in high school. When i chose engineering and ECE (Electronics and Communication) in particular, i was thinking of a holographic, three dimensionally projected communication protocol thingy (class 12) for my final year project and then it shifted to prosthetic arm which could be moved at the will of the person to which it is attached (pre-final year). Did i use all that skill and thinking in engineering? No. All i needed was one skill, Presentation. I wrote my answer papers neatly so that the evaluator didn’t want to spoil it with a red mark and believed students with good handwriting are generally good in studies. Half the questions expected me to prove A = B, which was easy. Start in page1 from A and get to some C, Start at the end of page 3 in reverse from B to end up in C and “Hence Proved”. The professor’s text book knowledge and evaluator’s lack of interest in going through each line just made life easier that i don’t have to pay attention to every single detail. It just got better of me that i was able to write on anything by just knowing the concept behind it. In a nutshell engineering has taught me how to yawn without opening my mouth and how to sleep with eyes open. So much for the 3 dimensional communication protocol thingy.

High school was the time i started watching more movies. Indian cinema at its best churned out somewhere to the north of 500 movies a year, each year with no signs of slowing down and me, having lotta time to spare, tried watching most movies possible. Engineering gave me more time to spend and with the price of portable flash drives decreasing and its capacity increasing, i used to watch every movie i got in my pen drive. Some were the ones i wanted but most of them were the ones the guys forgot to delete before they gave my pen drive back. Cheap ass horror flicks which scared you nothing more than a rom com if you watch it in the morning, telugu and hindi movies which were promised to be different and taking indian cinema to hollywood standards. These movies taught just one thing to me, you dont have to attentive throughout the movie. The first 10 to 15 min intro sequence and the twist (?) in the interval and the last 5 min where someone dies and others live happily ever after. It got all predictable in a few days and i could predict the twist the director had thought of for a year even before the interval. (This is the reason why people found it difficult to praise inception kind of movies, by the time it reached climax, they would wake up and be like what?where? what happened to the villain? where is the scene where the villian pushes leo’s mother down and kidnaps the heroine? why is leo and team carrying the wounded villain rather than letting him die? mind you, the first few min showed ken watanabe like a bad guy ). Indian cinema, atleast the ones which are widely advertised still require the same amount of attention needed to drink frooti using a straw.

I can still pay attention to everything in detail but all this has made me think why pay something that is never needed! Watching the scenes may be mandatory in a theater but paying attention is optional, you will understand the movie anyway. For a country which will soon have an engineering college per every 100 students eligible ( it will, evlo bet? ), engineering is still taught on paper and the colleges which are allegedly said to inspire creativity are nearly exclusive to those who are living in the premises of a coaching center or are born to do it (with reservation).

I’d rather think about the band to listen when i leave home or the global warming instead of wasting time with paper formulas and crap movies. It will be a life well spent.

Privatising wars is the best solution for world peace!

Being born on the same date as the first nuclear bomb was dropped, i figured i should have a little concern in the fact that wars are still happening all around us and we all should be doing a small part in maintaining world peace ( unlike beauty pageant winners who use the word to grab the price). A big amount of the annual budget is spent on the national guard and wars. I’m not encouraging in any way to drop the national security ( I salute their bravery and dedication and they deserve the most respect for that! ) but i’m just lingering with the idea of how it would be if we outsource only the wars division to the private sector! A few ideas to reduce that buren on the budget so that our politicians will have a lot more money to take home to their family ( oh, yeah even they are in the parliament..anyways, nevermind)

1. Go the google way!
ADS!! It has made google one of the biggest companies in the world, so why not try some of it..we can get the companies to sponsor the army..maybe a camoflaged version of their brand name in the gear..the artillery and aircrafts have lotta space which can be used..considering the fact that wars get maximumΒ  coverage by the media, we are talking about some serious moneymaking here based on AD revenue alone! imagine we can pull in airtel with a viral campaign “har ek comrade zaroori hota hai” or in the language i know “ovvoru veeranum theva machan” πŸ˜›

2. Go the IT way!
OUTSOURCE!! i’m sure lots of MNC will be interested in this proposal as long they have their little favours done like in a little get out of jail free card for their italian mafia boss πŸ˜› ( just thinking out loud ). Also if a company has more than than one country under its contract, it will make sure the countries don’t fight so that their resources are not wasted..see? now you are already thinking how good an idea this is!! if you ask me, how can you be sure that the private firms will even care about our soldiers..yeah, right! like the government does!

3. Go the BCCI way!
Sell the rights to telecast it to some TV channel which shows old hindi movies and crap tamil movies dubbed in hindi ( i mean, seriously?). choose this kinda channels cuz they pay you loads as THIS will be their main program for the year! Psst..sneak in a clause in the contract that pays you for every re-run of the show! trust me, this will fetch you more than the original deal!

4. Go Virtual!
Everything is moving online, so why not this too? World is moving more towards brains rather than brawn. So how about an online FPS to decide the winner? Hell, we can create a new game for this if we are not comfortable with graphics of Counter Strike or Call Of Duty, afterall we are a country who write codes for peanuts! Also for the fact that most of today’s youth is online in Facebook the whole day clicking on spam post to identify who is been stalking their profile, this will gain a huge fan base if streamed online for little fee or free (with ads ofcourse :P)
Note to twitter and Facebook: If this happens, update your server beforehand, that will be the first thing to crash!

4. Go the Old school way!
Build a giant colluseum and fight it out with the best soldiers you have (remember Achilles and Hector from Troy? )! This will be a majorly (no pun intended ) effective idea as it will result in far less life loss. Also we can bring in terrorists and sort that problem out..saves of trouble for them to destroy buildings and kill innocent people..from what they show on TV, they just want to get even and this might interest them..This might be the most effective way cuz all the above ideas can be used in this and will fetch a hell lotta money to the country ( i.e to the politicians ) and will very minimal loss of life!
Ps. We can have home and away wars so that even the other country can earn from it. Multiple matches should not be considered for obvious reasons!

Disclaimer: Before someone starts a nation wide protest (as in the case of Delhi boy and the madarasan) and turn a whole bunch of people against me for writing this( would improve my traffic though..if you are doing this, please give me a heads up so that i will install google ad sense πŸ˜› ), i would like everyone to know this is solely my opinion and i’m not in any advisory position in any of the boards that can get this done, hell i haven’t even been on a skateboard!

National security is a major issue and i bow down and salute all the armed personnel and their family for making our homes a safer place to live in! You guys are the HEROES, no doubt in that!

3 idiots..

My hindi is not so good..actually very bad..then why did i watch 3 idiots?? its all because of Chetan Bhagat. I’m a big fan of his five point someone and when i heard this movie was inspired from tat, i made up my mind to watch it..a movie made of a book generally is close to crap..except for the lord of the rings series n other few..but this movie never disappointed and was better than the story in a few places..but with a hell lotta changes..everything was perfect from the opening till the end..i thought how ll it be to see aamir as a college student..but then being a perfectionist, he found the answer..cast everyone who looked older than him.. πŸ˜‰ even kareena..(she looks a lot older than aamir) his introduction scene was hilarious and he held tat charisma till the end..apart from the 3 idiots, the character ‘silencer’ deserves a special mention..he was great..the whole movie was a laughter riot.. u cant stop laughin..tat too the teacher’s day scene and the scene in climax where two of em throw the keys at the same time..i cant spill out the suspense.. πŸ˜‰ the way they showed raju s family as in a black and white movie added up to the already good camera work..give me some sunshine song was awesome.. ( i didn understand the other songs πŸ˜‰ still music was good)Β  overall a great movie..worth the watch..they say the one who laughs last didn understand the joke..tat happened to me a few times..still i laughed my *** off..shows how good the movie say in a single line, ALL IZZ WELL..