Privatising wars is the best solution for world peace!

Being born on the same date as the first nuclear bomb was dropped, i figured i should have a little concern in the fact that wars are still happening all around us and we all should be doing a small part in maintaining world peace ( unlike beauty pageant winners who use the word to grab the price). A big amount of the annual budget is spent on the national guard and wars. I’m not encouraging in any way to drop the national security ( I salute their bravery and dedication and they deserve the most respect for that! ) but i’m just lingering with the idea of how it would be if we outsource only the wars division to the private sector! A few ideas to reduce that buren on the budget so that our politicians will have a lot more money to take home to their family ( oh, yeah even they are in the parliament..anyways, nevermind)

1. Go the google way!
ADS!! It has made google one of the biggest companies in the world, so why not try some of it..we can get the companies to sponsor the army..maybe a camoflaged version of their brand name in the gear..the artillery and aircrafts have lotta space which can be used..considering the fact that wars get maximum  coverage by the media, we are talking about some serious moneymaking here based on AD revenue alone! imagine we can pull in airtel with a viral campaign “har ek comrade zaroori hota hai” or in the language i know “ovvoru veeranum theva machan” 😛

2. Go the IT way!
OUTSOURCE!! i’m sure lots of MNC will be interested in this proposal as long they have their little favours done like in a little get out of jail free card for their italian mafia boss 😛 ( just thinking out loud ). Also if a company has more than than one country under its contract, it will make sure the countries don’t fight so that their resources are not wasted..see? now you are already thinking how good an idea this is!! if you ask me, how can you be sure that the private firms will even care about our soldiers..yeah, right! like the government does!

3. Go the BCCI way!
Sell the rights to telecast it to some TV channel which shows old hindi movies and crap tamil movies dubbed in hindi ( i mean, seriously?). choose this kinda channels cuz they pay you loads as THIS will be their main program for the year! Psst..sneak in a clause in the contract that pays you for every re-run of the show! trust me, this will fetch you more than the original deal!

4. Go Virtual!
Everything is moving online, so why not this too? World is moving more towards brains rather than brawn. So how about an online FPS to decide the winner? Hell, we can create a new game for this if we are not comfortable with graphics of Counter Strike or Call Of Duty, afterall we are a country who write codes for peanuts! Also for the fact that most of today’s youth is online in Facebook the whole day clicking on spam post to identify who is been stalking their profile, this will gain a huge fan base if streamed online for little fee or free (with ads ofcourse :P)
Note to twitter and Facebook: If this happens, update your server beforehand, that will be the first thing to crash!

4. Go the Old school way!
Build a giant colluseum and fight it out with the best soldiers you have (remember Achilles and Hector from Troy? )! This will be a majorly (no pun intended ) effective idea as it will result in far less life loss. Also we can bring in terrorists and sort that problem out..saves of trouble for them to destroy buildings and kill innocent people..from what they show on TV, they just want to get even and this might interest them..This might be the most effective way cuz all the above ideas can be used in this and will fetch a hell lotta money to the country ( i.e to the politicians ) and will very minimal loss of life!
Ps. We can have home and away wars so that even the other country can earn from it. Multiple matches should not be considered for obvious reasons!

Disclaimer: Before someone starts a nation wide protest (as in the case of Delhi boy and the madarasan) and turn a whole bunch of people against me for writing this( would improve my traffic though..if you are doing this, please give me a heads up so that i will install google ad sense 😛 ), i would like everyone to know this is solely my opinion and i’m not in any advisory position in any of the boards that can get this done, hell i haven’t even been on a skateboard!

National security is a major issue and i bow down and salute all the armed personnel and their family for making our homes a safer place to live in! You guys are the HEROES, no doubt in that!

One thought on “Privatising wars is the best solution for world peace!

  1. Nice ideas, can be used… but implementing will be a problem.. 🙂 considering the delay that we have in implementing anythin.. Bribary will help?? LOL

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